Blame
by Marijeme
Summary: AU set somewhere before 3x08. Sam and Andy are still figuring out their 'normal', but will work keep getting in the way? When Andy gets an career opportunity it seems to good to be true, and they find out it probably is. Can they figure out everything before it's too late?
1. Chapter 1

_After the welcome response to my first story I decided to try another one. The idea has been floating in my head for a while now, but I couldn't quite figure out where to start._

_I hope you like it and want to read more! All reviews are much appreciated, even negative ones; I can take (constructive) criticism!_

* * *

Sam was practically screaming into the phone. "Do not go in there, you understand? Stand down. Don't do anything until I get there."

He could hear her sigh deep through the phone. "I have to. I have no choice."

"Do. Not. Move. That's an order. You copy McNally?"

His whole body was tensing up from frustration. If she was not there when he arrived, he would not be able to stand it. Why couldn't she get it to her stubborn little head what enormous mistake it would be to go in right now? Damn her sense of responsibility for the entire human race. Damn her lion's heart. Couldn't she just listen to him, trust his advice on face value for once?

"Sam, I'm sorry. I'll be fine, don't worry."

Don't worry? All he ever did since he was assigned a new eager rookie that captured his heart from the moment she tackled him, was worry. Worries about the shell around his heart that she cracked so easily and continued to break down into pieces, worries about losing her to some other guy for the first two years he knew (and loved) her, but most of all worries about her safety. How many times had she been in a life-or death situation now? She had seen more dangerous action in her rookie years alone then some officer do in their whole career. She seemed to be a magnet to perilous situations, and sometimes her passion and optimistic believe in people surpassed her sense of self preservation. Like right now.

"Andy, just wait. Please." Great, she got him to beg now. Well, if it worked, it was worth it.

"There's no time. I have to do this; it's the only way everybody gets out of this in one piece. See you soon, okay?"

Not okay, definitively not okay. But before Sam could respond, ask her to wait for him one more time, beg, threaten, scream, whatever would make her stay safe, he abruptly heard the dial tone.

Luckily, Sam had the sense to dial another number before losing it. Freaking out in a moving car was probably not a good idea, anyway.

The other line was picked up almost immediately.

"Yes, officer?" The voice was dripping with sarcasm and faked joyfulness.

But Sam was in no mood to play. "Stop this. Right now."

A chuckle. "You forgot to say please."

"It doesn't have to end like this."

"Who said anything about an end? I'm just getting started. And you know your girlfriend has had it coming for a long time now."

"I'll kill you if she gets hurt. I swear I'll find you and finish you off."

"Now if it isn't the typical Swarek rudeness. Anyway, I would suggest putting all that energy you spend threatening me into something more productive, like, I don't know, saving your little girlfriend from a certain death. That is, if you make it there in time."

The person on the other side of the line burst out into laughter before ending the call, leaving Sam spouting curse words while stepping on the gas.

* * *

EARLIER

* * *

"Sam? You here?" Andy threw her bag in the corner and put her keys on the table (so nice that everything had his place here already, it was astonishing how at home she felt here).

"Kitchen!"

As she went to him, she smelled delicious fumes coming from the room, making her instantly hungry. She popped her head around the corner, and saw him bent over the stove.

"Hey you. Cooking dinner?"

His broad smile was disarming. "Hey yourself. No, I'm doing math, can't you see?" He pointed towards the disorganized mess of bowls and plates in front of him, apparently amused by her ability of stating the obvious. "Quick, what's the square root of 96?"

Andy squinted her eyes and growled at Sam before turning around on her heels to leave the kitchen, acting insulted. She loved this banter with him, but she would die before confessing that.

Sam caught her before she could leave and circled his arms around her waist before pressing a firm kiss on her lips.

"It was either ordering out, or taking a chance at your mac and cheese once more. I wasn't feeling that adventurous today."

Andy scowled at him before embracing him and snuggling his chest. "Mac and cheese is not the only thing I can cook, you know."

Sam feigned surprise. "Really?"

"Really. I'm pretty good at making pancakes. Or eggs. You've said so yourself."

He kissed her again, slowly causing tingles to run through her spine all the way to her toes.

"That I did. I'm not going to refute your breakfast-making skills, McNally."

He gently caressed her face before abruptly breaking their embrace. "Now you need to let me get back to cooking, before everything burns and we have to order after all. How did it go with you? What did Frank want?"

"I'll tell you after I take a quick shower, if I still have time before dinner?"

Andy loved to watch Sam cook, but she still needed some time alone to figure out how to break the news to Sam. Was he going to be angry? Would he understand? She was probably overthinking it, but her relationship with Sam was still so new, so fragile. The way she felt about him was stronger than ever, and she knew that he felt as strongly for her, but they were still figuring out how this whole relationship-thing was going to work. She didn't want to do anything to ruin that, but her work was important too. And she had already given him the impression she chose work over him once, when they were both suspended and she ran off on vacation to avoid not being able to contact him. Would this be a rehash of that time?

"Sure, no problem. Just tell me one thing now." Oh, this sounded serious.

Andy couldn't hide her surprise. "What?" Did he know already? Who told him? Her brain was in sudden overdrive.

"Is my truck okay?"

She let go of the breath she didn't know she was holding. "Ha-ha. Your truck is just fine. Same as this morning. Thanks for letting me drive it."

But Sam Swarek wouldn't be Sam Swarek if he didn't pick up on her mood right away.

"You didn't really give me a choice this morning, did you? But what's wrong?"

Time to make her retreat, before she blurted it all out right now before thinking it through.

"Nothing's wrong. It's just… It's nothing that can't wait. I'll tell you after dinner."


	2. Chapter 2

_First, thank you for the reviews and follows! I hope you all still like to story as it goes on. Please keep letting me know what you think!_

* * *

Maybe he had given her the impression that he was a patient man. He had always tried to avoid pressuring Andy, always tried to give her the time and space she needed, even if she herself was no good at it.

But she had to know no man could relax after his 'girlfriend' (it still sounded so weird to address her like that, he much rather called her partner) was so obviously avoiding a serious talk.

Andy was nervous about telling him something. She had dropped her fork twice already and she was avoiding his eyes all through dinner.

Now they had finished eating and she was collecting the plates to bring them to the kitchen.

"Leave 'em. Just tell me what's up with you." He couldn't stand it anymore. Was she breaking up with him? No, there would have been an indication earlier. Was she trying to move too fast again? Oh boy, hopefully she wasn't expecting them to move in together already. Hadn't they agreed on taking it slow? The suspense was killing him.

"Well, I told you on the phone Best called me into his office after shift, right?"

He just nodded. Could she speed this along please? Maybe Frank had decided they couldn't ride together anymore. But would he just decide that behind his back? Sam would really miss partnering up with Andy.

"Well, it turns out Guns and Gangs wants me to do an UC-op." She paused for a moment to assess his reaction.

"Not for very long, just a couple of days. Two weeks max. Mostly information gathering. Suppose to be very low risk."

Sam raised his brows. "No such thing as a low risk UC. Why does Guns and Gangs want you? You're not exactly popular with them, last I checked."

"They needed a young female. They said they were impressed with the Vestibule op, and the fact that Brennan didn't make me as a cop."

Brennan. Why did she have to bring up that name? Did she think he would be more relaxed with her going undercover if he thought about the lack of success on his own last undercover job?

She was awaiting his response, he knew that. But he wasn't sure about how he felt yet. Was he happy with the thought of her going of undercover and being at risk? Of course not.

But did he have any right to hold her back if she wanted to advance in her career? He had gone undercover more times than he could count. He had loved it, and the experiences had taught him a great deal. Who was he to deny her that?

"When? What kind of operation is it?" Had she already said yes? Was she asking him, or telling him?

"Don't know anything yet. They want to brief me tomorrow." She looked up at him, eyes wide.

"Are you okay with this? I mean, are we okay if I do this?" If? So she hadn't said yes yet. But she clearly wanted to.

"Are you going alone?"

"One-woman op. Why, you don't think I'm ready to do it alone?"

Sam exhaled sharply. "McNally, I'm sure that whatever it is, you can do it. I'd just like to be in on it, and have your back when I can." Why had nobody warned him? They had to have known he would have wanted to be in on it. Did they really think he would just let her run off and not watch out for her?

"I know you always have my back, Sam."

"It's such a nice back", he sniffled, "somebody oughtta protect it."

* * *

It's just, after all the crap we went through together, I would have thought you would have at least given me a heads up."

Sam was rubbing his chin while leaning on Frank's desk. He really would have expected more from his friend. Why did he even have to let Andy go out alone this soon? Without consulting him, at all?

"It's out of my hands unfortunately, just got the order from higher up the food chain to bring her into this." Frank placed both of his hands on the desk and tried to get through to him.

"Just heard about it yesterday myself. Look, she's going to be fine. They assured me it was a simple in-and out, no questions asked operation."

"Who gave the order?" This was not sitting well with Sam, not at all. Why Andy? Why now?

"Don't have the full scoop on this, Sam. I was just notified. Look, you're just going to have to trust you trained her well enough."

"Do you know the specifics of the op? Do you know where they're sending McNally?"

"I know its need- to know only, I can't tell you. And she can't tell you either."

_The hell with that. _If he was going to let her go off alone, he at the least wanted to make sure everything went smoothly for her. He was probably overreacting, but this was all new to him. As a training officer, he was used to giving his rookies the chance to learn and make mistakes of their own, while keeping a sharp eye on them in case something could happen. Many people had told him he was a little too overprotective, but it had never really hindered him at work.

But now this rookie was truly his, and his priority of keeping her safe was ten times amplified. He wanted her to have her own career opportunities, but did it have to go so fast? She barely had any experience with undercover work. And now they wanted to send her in alone?

But he couldn't tell her about his issues with this, without her immediately thinking he didn't trust her enough. Her work was so important for her; she had shown that time and time again. If it came to a choice between work and him, he still wasn't sure which she would choose.

* * *

Sam was quiet. A little too quiet, if you asked her. Was he just pretending to be okay with all this?

Maybe she was the one who was pretending. Andy hadn't felt this uneasy in a long time. Here she was, scared out of her mind, and she couldn't tell any of it to the one person she could always talk to. If she was to screw up, he wouldn't be there to coach her. This was all on her. What had made her think she could pull this off? No time to back out now.

So Andy was doing what she always did when she was nervous. She was rambling on about anything but the elephant in the room.

Suddenly Sam grabbed her hand mid-sentence. "Don't worry. You'll do just fine."

How did he always know what she was thinking?

"It sucks that I can't tell you anything about it." The warmth of his hand twined into hers calmed her a little.

"Then tell me. Maybe I can help," he spoke almost under his breath.

Andy turned around to face him. "You know I can't do that. If they were to find out…"

Sam made a point of glancing around the empty room. "Who would find out?"

"I'll tell you all about it when I get back."

Sam grabbed her hand even tighter. "I can't keep you safe if no one will tell me what you're going to be doing."

Anger flared in her. So he was just pretending to be alright with all this. Did he really think she couldn't do anything without his help?

"I don't need you to keep me safe; I just need your support. I'm going to have a whole team backing me up out there. And who else have you been talking to?"

Sam pinched the bridge of his nose, suddenly looking very self-conscious.

"I called a few friends of mine. This whole thing is very hush-hush. I just can't figure out why a supposedly simple UC operation is treated so secretive."

A few friends? Who, where? She wouldn't be surprised if she were to be pulled of this assignment because of Sam's snooping.

They already went through this, when Sam checked out her mother. Or so she thought.

"Can't you just trust that I know what I'm doing? I can't believe you went behind my back. Again."

She withdrew her hand from his, leaving him looking a bit desolate.

"You, I trust. It's this whole operation that sounds a bit fishy to me."

* * *

Andy couldn't get rid of the headache she was feeling since she got out of bed this morning.

Her apartment felt too empty, there weren't that many evenings spent alone anymore lately.

Andy urged to pick up the phone and call Sam, but her pride prevented her from that. After all, she was the one who had insisted she needed to be alone tonight.

The conversation with Sam yesterday evening had been tiring. She had finally given up and turned in early. He just wouldn't understand that this was something she needed to do alone, and he needed to give her that space. Why did he have to butt in?

He was just going on and on about the operation. If it were anyone else going under, would he be this suspicious? Probably not. He was just frustrated that he was a bystander in this situation, being a control freak and all.

Okay, she had to admit she truly believed he was worried about her. Well tough. Had he even given the people who cared about him any consideration before he went undercover?

Worst of all, the timing of this little argument was terrible. How could he help her overcome her fears of keeping it together while in character when he clearly had no trust in her abilities?

Oh dammit, was all this even worth it? After all they had endured to finally be together, was she going to let this ruin it? But if she was to back out now (if she even could), would this be a precursor as to how their relationship would pan out: If Sam wasn't okay with it, she couldn't advance in her career? Completing this assignment successfully would be really good for her.

She would be scared too, if Sam was called back undercover. But she would trust him if he chose to do so. And he had already done it himself numerous times. It was her turn now.

A knock on her door made her almost jump up. She wasn't expecting anyone tonight, especially not this late. Andy looked through the peephole before opening up.

"Sam, what are you doing here? I thought you were having take-out with Oliver tonight."

She blocked the entrance with her body. Did he really think I'd be this easy?

"I did. And I've had some time to think, I guess."

Sam grinned at her and held up a six-pack of beer. 'I've been told I may come off as a little overbearing some times."

Despite herself, she let him through. "Is that your way of apologizing?"

He nervously ran his hands through his hair. "Look, if you're going to do this, I promise I'll do my best to give you full support, okay?"

He looked too darn cute with his apologetic smile; she couldn't stay mad at him...

"I guess I'll have to settle with that, huh?"

* * *

Neither Sam nor Andy had noticed the dark sedan parked outside Andy's apartment. To anyone carelessly passing by, the car seemed empty and unused, the person inside was not moving an inch. He kept his gaze on her window, hoping to see something of what was going on inside, or maybe secretly hoping the apartment would spontaneously combust and he would be done with it.

His stomach was turning when he thought of all the things that could still go wrong, despite his overly thought-out plans.

But there was also a childish exhilaration present, like waiting on your presents on Christmas day. Oh, their faces would be priceless! Finally judgment day would come, and it would be magnificent. He would make sure of that.

He just had to patient now, and reap the rewards later. They were going to pay dearly, even if they didn't know it yet.


	3. Chapter 3

_Sorry for taking this long to upload again. _

_I love all comments and speculation in the reviews, feels good to know people are reading and thinking about my story! Please let me know what you think of this chapter._

* * *

"Noelle! You look absolutely radiant. How do you feel?" Sam worked at keeping his smile in place as he sat down on her desk.

"Not in the mood, Sammy. I've got swollen feet which I can hardly see, and I spend more time in the bathroom than at my desk. What do you want?"

"Don't blame me, blame Frank. I just need a small favor."

Maybe he should come back when Noelle was in a better mood. But how long would that take? He had exhausted all the other options, she had to help him. Even if he was scared to death of upset pregnant women.

"Not today." Noelle leaned back in her chair, examining him with a raised eyebrow. "And especially not if it involves 'the thing' McNally is on."

"Do you know anything about it?" Why couldn't Andy have just told him? This could have been so much easier if she would have.

But the last thing he had wanted was to argue with her right before she left undercover, she had to keep a clear head.

"Well, I know its Guns and Gangs, and it's all secretive. I have a few guesses, but I don't know anything beyond that, so I can't help you."

"But you can. It just takes one phone call. And you don't have to give me any specifics about the case, just the names of the detectives who initiated and run the op."

Noelle sighed deeply and frowned at him. "And how am I supposed to get that info, even if I wanted to?"

This was the hardest part, he had to tread carefully.

"Didn't you used to date that Stevens guy, the new department head? He was real crazy about you, if I remember correctly."

Sam ran his hands through his hair and smiled at her sheepishly.

"I haven't spoken to him in over two years. What makes you think I could persuade him to just tell me?"

"Your inevitable charm? I'm sure he still remembers you well."

He pleaded with her with his eyes, until she harshly broke contact.

"McNally is going to be fine, Sammy. You'll just have to wait 'till she's back to find out, like the rest of us. What could you do anyway? Plus Frank told you to stay out of this."

And what if she wasn't going to be fine, he would never be able to forgive himself. If he just knew what was going on, he could rest a bit easier.

"There's something hinky about all this, trust me. Why her, out of the blue? If you don't help me I'll just have to find another way, but I'd rather you'd help me."

A few seconds passed before Noelle pushed back her chair and stood up.

"Are you sure your judgment isn't clouded by your infatuation for this rookie?"

Well, maybe it was just a little in some situations, but instinct was instinct and his shouted to him to investigate this further.

"I'm sure. Where are you going?"

"I'm going to pee. When I get back I'll see what I can do about that phone call. I'm going to need a piece of blueberry pie and a large cup of chocolate milk, but not the cheap kind from around the corner. And you'll still owe me, big time."

* * *

Did these beds have to be this hard? That was just cruel.

Andy was lying back, focusing on her breathing, trying to clear her head, like Sam told her to. He had given her a whole speech last night, after they had left the Penny.

She had been talking to her friends, listening to Dov complain (again) about the thin wall he shared with Chris, silently saying goodbye to them (even if they weren't aware of anything other than Andy being on 'special assignment'), when Sam had come up behind her and whispered in her ear with that husky irresistible voice of his, asking if she was ready to leave yet.

Five minutes later they were in the car, and Sam's mood had turned serious. Why did most of their serious talks take place in or around cars?

"Listen McNally," he had said, "From tomorrow, your friends in there, they don't exist. You can't be thinking about them. You get that? Your dad, he doesn't exist. I don't exist, not while you're under."

After she had made clear (again and again) that she got it, he had driven her home and said goodbye to her like she was leaving for months instead of days.

The passion he had shown her resembled that of the first real night (blackouts don't count) they had had together, at the Alpine Inn. Every inch of her body had been explored and revered.

Okay, Sam was not good with words. She doubted he would ever say the 'I love you' to her, or show affection in his words. But they way he held and kissed her said enough of his love. The way he respected her, got her like no one else. He loved her, she was sure about that. No need to say it out loud, though it would be great to hear someday, maybe.

Could she do what Sam had said? Totally forget about her life, the people she loved, and become someone else? Well, she had too. There were too many people counting on her now.

Her only lifeline now to the outside world was a small cell phone she kept hidden in her backpack.

Only one number would ever call her, and she was forbidden to call anyone besides her handler.

She was even told to call him from a phone booth whenever possible, to avoid detection of the cell phone.

The girl in the bed next to her was eying her. Young, maybe barely twenty years old. She looked nice enough, in a rough, un-brushed and pierced way. Should she try to talk to her? It could be useful to make some friends here. _No, contacts. _Should she think of them that way? Or should she think in character and see them as new acquaintances? This was so confusing.

"Hi." Andy decided to just take the plunge. She had to practice being her new self anyway.

The girl was still eying her suspiciously. "You're new."

Andy sat up and stretched out her hand to her, flashing a nervous smile.

"Yeah, I'm Leila." That sounded so strange, even if she had practiced it about a thousand times. Good thing last names weren't really customary in this scene. They had given her one, of course; Berlin. But the least lies she would have to tell, the better.

The girl checked her out one more time before accepting her hand.

"I'm Carly. Nice bag."

The guys from her new team at Guns and Gangs had fitted her with a dusty old backpack that probably stemmed from times before her own conception, with lots of bright flowers and stripes that had long since faded away.

"Thanks." Andy fiddled with her braids, put in to accentuate her youth and change her face enough for no one who might have seen her in passing to recognize her. She had to say herself, it worked. When she had looked in the mirror after her makeover, she hardly recognized herself. If only Sam could see her like this, what he would say! Would he like it, or would it freak him out? She had a feeling she was young enough for him already, any more would possibly have him feeling like a pervert.

Oh, she shouldn't be thinking about him. _Get a grip, Leila._

"I had a bag like that at home, used to belong to my mom. Guess it's in the trash now."

Where was her mom now? Dead, gone? Why did she leave home? Was it okay to ask, or was that not done here? This was turning out to be tricky.

"Have you been here long?"

Carly folded her legs under her smiled at her. "Few months. Came here from Detroit with my best friend. She's back there now. I'm hoping to move to LA soon, as soon as I have some money saved up from my trip. You know…"

Carly had stopped talking, as she stared breathlessly to the doorway. Andy followed her gaze, and had to hide her shock as she saw the newcomer was the woman she had seen on the pictures. This was her primary target, the woman she had to meet.


	4. Chapter 4

_Wow, I really needed some time to recover from that last episode. Very tragic but I thought it was beautifully done. Luckily there are a lot of great writers here that felt inspired by it, so that's a definite plus!_

_But anyway, here's my new chapter, hope you enjoy it!_

* * *

Andy was covertly observing her target while she poked around in her food. If anyone would dare to call this food, that was. Maybe she should start with a collection or something at the precinct when she got back; surely her colleagues wouldn't mind helping out, once they knew how bad it was here.

Carly sat next to her, chatting away. Andy was still astonished about the trust of the girl. Within a few hours, she was treating Andy like a best friend. How long could a lonely young trusting girl survive in a place like this? Andy was already making plans for when she got back. Maybe she could help Carly find some purpose, some chance of a future; she seemed like such a nice girl. Would she let her help? Could she make a difference for her?

Or Carly would never talk to her again once she found out she had been lied to. That was a definite possibility she had to consider.

Andy turned to Carly, and cut her off. No time to be polite if work calls. "Do you want some coffee or tea?"

Carly swallowed the rest of her sentence. "Nope, thanks."

Making her way across the room to the coffee machine, Andy tried to give herself a stern pep talk. _You can do this. Remember what they said. Don't approach her, let her come to you. If you are too eager, she won't believe or trust you. Act normal, not interested in anything but a steaming cup of coffee._

She took her position next to the coffee cups, a short distance from the woman she hoped to be spoken to by.

She was unmistakably attractive, but looked unapproachable. Her whole appearance was threatening, the harsh lines of her face only accentuated by the curves of her body. This was surely a woman who could fight. Andy did not have to look at her to see her; she knew the face from memory from the pictures in her file.

Maria Kretser. 28 Years old, above average height, hazel eyes. She was blonde, but hadn't been born that way. Originally from Raleigh, North Carolina. Ran away from home when she was just 14 years old, wandered around filling her rap sheet while living on the streets on different cities, until finally settling in Toronto. She had been arrested for panhandling and pick-pocketing, along with a few counts of prostitution and drug possession. Here, she had ventured into the more serious crimes, one of the reasons why Andy had to make contact with her first. She was her way to the next step.

"Hey new girl, pass me a cup." Andy dared to look up, only to find a blank stare going right through her, so she simply did as she was asked. Kretser grabbed the cup from her, and turned away without as much of a nod or a simple thank you, so Andy filled her own cup and returned to her seat.

Carly was almost bursting to finish her story about a concert she had attended a few weeks back; from some underground grunge band she was sure that would reach the top. She had found a purse with a ticket inside, she said, but Andy figured that probably meant she had stolen the purse.

Without having to look, she knew she was being watched. Kretser had rejoined her friends in the corner of the large room, where they talked in hushed tones while checking her out.

She had been briefed about this. Her handler had spent hours filling her in on the way this would go. She would be checked out, and tested. They didn't get this far in building their organization by not being cautious.

If and when they deemed her appropriate, she would be brought in, and only then could her work really start. This was not something she could rush, so she had to be patient until that moment came.

Why had they chosen her again? Patience was not one of her virtues; one only had to ask her training officer that. On the other hand, he would undoubtedly comment that this would be a good teaching moment for her.

Thinking about Sam made her heart ache. What was she, a teenager? She was barely gone from him longer than when they had a long shift, but she already missed him terribly. They were still so new together, she hadn't fully realized she wasn't ready to be away from him yet until now.

Was Sam thinking about her as well? Did he miss her? He had said he would, but were those just words? Did he mean it? Maybe he was glad to be rid of her. Now he could finally play poker with his friends again, or stay late at the Penny without being bothered to go home with her.

No, it was not his style to lie about those things. If he said he would miss her, he meant it. Why else say it? It was not like Sam to talk about his feelings, so when he did it had to mean something.

At least, that was what she thought. But what did she really know about Sam? She knew almost nothing about his past or family life, just snippets of information he had given her through the years.

There was something there, something bad, that she knew. Now she was just waiting for him to come forward with what it was, if he ever would.

She had told Sam almost everything about her. He knew her worst; the alcoholism of her father, the abandonment of her mother, but he had not given much in return.

Not that he had to spill everything at once, but it would be nice to hear something more about what made him who he was; the man she loved.

But that was almost certainly another instance where she could do with some more patience.

Carly, on the other hand, was the total opposite of Sam. Funny, Andy knew more about her past in one day than she found out about Sam in the last few years.

Carly poked her and whispered in her ear. "She's watching you."

Andy peeped around the table in feigned ignorance. "Who?"

"The big blonde in the corner, there. Jinx. She's a mean one, you know."

Jinx, also known as Maria Kretser. But Leila wasn't supposed to know that, of course.

"Why do you say that?"

"She's so bossy, and she thinks she's all that. Like wouldn't even say hello to me. She's always with those girls, watching me. And now she's staring at you, too."

Andy just nodded and took a sip of her coffee, deciding against another bite of the mush that was on her plate.

_She's doing exactly what I want her to._ _And if you're smart you won't follow my lead and stay far away from her._

* * *

"Sammy, you joining us for a drink tonight?" Oliver was dissecting his sandwich, skillfully removing the pickle. Their shift had been long and repetitive; nothing to keep Sam's mind occupied today, except his growing worry about Andy.

"Not today, buddy. Got some stuff to take care off." Actually, he was going for a drink, just not at the Penny. And not to socialize either.

"You sure? I thought your girl being away for a while meant you finally have some more time to spend with your friends, not less."

Oliver was right, he had been neglecting his friends a bit these past few weeks.

But he was still making up for all the times he had spent alone, watching Andy and wishing she would come to her senses and dump Callaghan, and stop planning every day of her life. Now that he could, he wanted to hold her close and enjoy her company as much as he could.

Was he too mushy, choosing her over poker night with his friends? It wasn't like he was never going to play again; he had just not wanted to leave her just yet.

And now she was gone for at least a couple of days, and he used up every hour of his spare time chasing leads on the case she was working on, trying to make sure she would come back to him in one piece.

He threw Oliver a guilt-ridden look. Now he remembered why he had forsaken starting a serious relationship for so long. Who could balance police work, friends, family and a relationship without letting one slip?

"What do you say to poker night, my place next Wednesday?"

Oliver answered with his mouth full of a huge bite from his sandwich.

"Don't you have to ask McNally for permission first?"

Sam slapped his friends back before making his retreat. "Wednesday, don't forget to bring beers."

He got out of the station as quick as he could, and drove his truck in the opposite direction of the Penny. He was on his way to a different bar, one who was frequented by another group of coppers.

Sam knew or had heard of most of the names on the list Noelle had given him, though superficially.

None of them stuck out to him from his previous work at Guns and Gangs.

After checking the names against Tommy McNally and finding no evidence of them working with him either, he still was none the wiser about their interest in McNally. It just made no sense to him.

Why choose an inexperienced rookie without consulting one of her training officers or even her staff sergeant?

This bar was not that different from the Penny or any other cop bar he'd been to, he noticed as he entered. Dartboard in the corner, headshots of memorable cops on the wall, no fancy drinks that some of the trendy city bars offered.

And logically a lot of cops, just coming of shift, enjoying a drink and spilling about their day to the only people who could ever fully understand.

Sam walked directly to the bar and ordered a beer, and scanned the room from his barstool. It wasn't long until he spotted the one who had his interest the most, detective Donaldson, standing behind a pillar with a whiskey in hand.

Now what? He hadn't really thought out the plan this far. He had his target, the lead on Andy's case. How would he best go about getting the information he came for? Just go up there and initiate a conversation would be the most obvious choice, but would it be effective? There was no reason the detective would tell him anything at all.

"As I live and breathe, Sam Swarek. I'd say pinch me but I don't want to wake up."

Sam turned towards the sensual voice besides him. "Joan?"

Joan, she had always been Joan. She had no love for her last name, and had broken the regular style of the police force by not using it.

Without hesitation, she gave him a hearty hug. That had always been her style: flirty, personal, but at the same time very professional with a strict no-dating-cops policy. She had been his training officer for a little while, and he had known her to be tough as a doornail.

"Firm body, nice to see you're keeping up your physique! How about you buy me a drink and explain to me exactly what brings you here."

Joan was up to speed two drinks later, there was still nothing wrong with her interrogation technique. Regular checks by Sam had confirmed that Donaldson was still sipping his drinks while the voices of him and his comrades got louder and louder.

"Honey, I don't think that's such a good idea. I don't think he's gonna talk to you. You see, Donaldson is not in the Swarek camp."

Swarek camp? What did she mean by that? Sam raised his brows to show his confusion.

"You mean you don't know?" Joan shook her head and lowered her voice.

"Donaldson is what we call a Boyder. After the whole Brennan fiasco, most of us just want it to be over, for him to pay for what he did to the good name of the force. Some, like your guy over there, think Boyd was god's gift to the police and they blame the officers who uncovered his cover-up of the death of Brennan's wife and child, for kicking him off the force. And you happen to be on the top of that list, along with your girl."

Sam took a large gulp of his drink while Joan continued to explain, to allow him to process this news. Boyd? They blamed him for Boyd? He wasn't even there when they uncovered the whole thing; he was busy being tortured by Jamie Brennan.

And why in the world would Donaldson pick Andy for his operation, when he blamed her so much for telling the truth about Boyd? If all this looked suspicious before, now he really knew something was off. Was this some kind of elaborate try at vengeance? He had to get Andy out of there, wherever there was.

But first, he had to visit an old friend, one he had sworn to never talk to again. He had to go see Donovan Boyd.


	5. Chapter 5

_I know it's been ages since I last updated. I've been buisy with final exams (I passed, yeah!), and housesitting for some friends. On top of that the weather was great here, and that's pretty unique in my country so I had to make the best of it and get outside!_

_But I haven't forgotten about my story. I hope you like it! Please let me know._

* * *

Sam felt like he was walking in circles. Well, now he was actually driving in circles around the block, but at least this time he found what he came for.

After dragging himself over to Boyd's house with great reluctance, he found nothing. Nothing at all. He had braced himself for a shouting match with Boyd, only to find an empty house, littered with empty beer cans and full ashtrays. Boyd had certainly been living the life.

Sam had let himself in, using the key that was hidden in the shed. He had let himself in this way numerous times on poker nights, only difference that Boyd was still his friend back then. No trace of Boyd, and the oldest peace of mail piling up by the door was from more than two weeks ago. Where was he? No one had heard from him, even his lawyer seemed oblivious he was gone at all. He had a court case to prepare for. He wasn't supposed to leave the city. And now he had fled, just when Andy was put on an undercover case led by a number one Boyd fan? What did all of this mean?

Worst of all, there was no one he could talk to about this. He wasn't supposed to know anything about Andy's assignment, and he was the only one who saw any suspicion at all. And he had official police work to get to.

Was he just being overprotective? Was he seeing ghosts? Maybe he had to reel himself in. But how could he, when Andy's safety was at stake?

Despite being already late, he had talked himself into making another detour before work.

As he drove up to headquarters, he still had no idea what he would say or do, just that he had to do something to clear this all up, put him at ease. Maybe it was all a freaky coincidence, but things kept piling up, making him more and more worried.

He got up to the Guns and Gangs unit without problems. There were even a few people there happy to see him, but he talked to none of them long enough to have them question his presence.

He asked an officer for Donaldson, and only got a raised eyebrow and a nod to an office across the hall.

Empty. Great. Sam walked in (hey, the door was open) and scanned the room.

The message board quickly got his attention. Maps, areas circled. Names, a few gritty pictures. As he leaned over to look more closely, the door slammed.

"What are you doing here?" Sam turned around to the officer and recognized him as one of the cops on Noelle's list; he was on Andy's case. What was his name again, Wesley something? Oh yeah, Craven.

Sam put on a smile while he silently cursed the nametag on his chest.

"I'm looking for Donaldson."

"He's out. What's this regarding?"

"A case."

"He's not due back any time soon. Can I help you with something?"

The look he gave Sam was anything but friendly. He probably didn't need a name tag to know his name.

He was not going to be helpful at all, by the looks of it. Another one of Boyd's supporters perhaps?

"Thank you, I'll come back."

The information on the board had been at least a little helpful, Sam thought as he raced to work. But how long would it take before his little unauthorized visit to headquarters would reach the white shirts? Frank would have his head if he found out he wad meddling with Andy's undercover operation.

Shift started of less than perfect. After getting an earful for being late, he was partnered with Epstein in bringing in some drunks from a bar.

When they finally were on the streets again, he drove straight to the other side of town and started driving in circles, until he found what he was looking for.

Sam quickly turned the cruiser around the corner, and parked it on the side of the street. He nervously tapped the steering wheel with his fingers while he waited for Epstein to shut up. Why did he have to be paired with him today? He much rather would have been alone today, this was only complicating things. Well, it could be worse: it could be Diaz, the honest Mr.-by-the-book. Would Epstein be up for this?

"What are we doing?" Epstein was eager to advance, questioning why they were in this neighborhood at all; not within 15th division.

"Listen, if I ask you to forget everything that's going to happen in the next half hour or so, never repeat it to anyone, and do exactly as I say, would you do it?"

Epstein seemed taken aback from his question, he looked Sam over to see if he could be kidding. But Sam was far from kidding. This had to be done, and if he wasn't up to it, he would just drop him off at a diner and take care of this alone.

"Could I lose my job over this?"

Sam thought it over. "No, but I probably could."

* * *

"Here's where I sometimes wash windows. You have to be fast though, because the cops ride by like every two hours."

Andy tried to picture Carly trying to make some bucks while ducking her colleagues. This was so sad. A young girl like that shouldn't be wondering where her next meal would come from. She should be at home, just hanging out and bothering her parents.

Without any hesitation, Carly took Andy's hand in hers and pulled her along the streets. She looked around if anyone could hear before addressing Andy again in a hushed tone.

"So, Jinx came to talk to me."

This got Andy's attention. "And? What did she say?"

"She wanted me to come work for her friends." Carly looked up at her with desperation written on her face.

This was not good. Not her, not Carly. Why couldn't she just leave the girl alone?

"What kind of work?"

"It's kind of a secret, I don't know yet. But she said I'll make enough to get to LA, and afford a place there, in just a few weeks."

If she ever got out of here. Did she really think they would let her go?

"What did you say?" _Please say no._

Carly pensively kicked away a pebble. "Said I had to think about it. Do you think I should do it?"

Andy mind was racing. What could she say to get Carly to say no?

"I thought you were scared of Jinx."

"She was not so bitchy today. But that could be played, you know?"

_If only you knew how much could be played._

"Do you trust her?"

"I don't trust anyone. Except you, of course."

That hurt. How could she ever explain lying to her about everything? She hated lying, anyway. But it was worse when the person that was lied to was so nice and innocent.

"Then I say, don't do it. Especially if you can't even know what it is."

That sounded honest enough, right? She could hardly tell Carly the truth; tell her exactly how dangerous that would be for someone like her, even if she wanted to with all her heart.

"You think I can make it to LA on my own?"

Andy bumped shoulders with Carly.

"Sure you can. You don't need some stuck-up bitchy boss anyway, right?"

That made Carly giggle.

Andy saw the red and blue light reflected on the wall across them before she heard the sirens.

"Shit, police." Carly looked just as panicked as Andy felt. No no, not now. If someone recognized her, blew her cover, everything would be over, and it would be all her fault.

She had to run, but where? And the doors of the cruiser were already open. But she had to try. She took Carly's hand and made a run for it.

"Stop, police!" The sound of the voice calling after her made her heart jump, and her body almost freeze at the same time. Sam. What was he doing here?

It wasn't long until they hit a dead end, and had no choice but to turn around to face the cops.

Sam, her Sam. Here, with Dov. What the hell was going on?

Dov couldn't hide his shock any more than Andy could.

"Officer, why don't you take that girl, while I talk to her here?"

Sam approached Andy with stretched out arms. "Don't make me tackle you. We just want to ask you some questions." He suppressed a smirk while Dov grabbed Carly by the arm and led her away from them.

"Leila?" Carly sounded scared.

"It'll be okay, just stay cool, okay?"

Sam kept a grin on his face. "Leila, is that your name? Got a last name?"

Andy did not answer. Her anger was getting the best of her. Did Sam have a reason to be here, or was he just checking up on her?

"I'm going to need to search you." He turned her around against the wall and padded her down slowly.

He stayed professional, but the memories he evoked in Andy by touching her were far from professional. Had it really been so long since they were last together? But she couldn't think of that now, not when so much was at stake.

Andy waited until Carly and Dov were out of earshot and Dov had turned her around to search her too.

She gritted her teeth. "What are you doing here?"

Sam turned her around again to face her, and went on to searching her bag. "Love the braids, Leila." He put emphasis on the L's of the name, dragging them out. Was he really teasing her, here, now?

After looking around the alley and making sure no one was listening, he lowered his voice.

"The story is, I questioned you about a break-in on a corner store, because you matched the description, okay? But don't worry, you're not guilty."

Andy stayed apprehensive. "Okay…" When was he getting to the point? She couldn't even think straight anymore. She had enough to deal with staying in character without Sam coming in and stirring up her new world.

"Boyd's missing."

Okay, not what she expected. What did that have to do with her?

"That's why you're here?"

"Hey, you arrested me, so it's only fair, right?"

Sam smiled apologetically before biting his lip. "I've been doing some investigating. There is some bad blood after the whole Boyd situation, and some coppers seem to blame us. The same guys who chose you for this op. That, paired with Boyd being gone, is suspicious at best."

"What does that mean?" There were a million questions she wanted to ask, but none she could formulate right now.

"Don't know yet, but I'm going to find out. Just thought I should give you a heads-up."

"Does Frank know?"

He smirked at her. "Not really official business."

So he was really taking a risk by talking to her. "You could lose your job for this."

"That's not the worst thing I could lose."

He looked at her with such intensity that she felt instantly weak.

"And what am I supposed to do with this?" As if things weren't complicated enough before.

"Watch your back. Don't trust anyone on the team, especially Donaldson. And call me if anything big is going on."

Panic rushed through Andy as she processed his words.

"Sam, I can't do this." Yeah, trust no one. Good policy, just not for her. How was she supposed to go about her work when she couldn't trust the people that were supposed to keep her safe? And what if Sam was wrong about all this?

"Sure you can. I've got your back. Call me."

He handed her back her bag. Dov was already approaching with Carly.

He took a step back. "Just stay out of trouble, okay?"

Sam bent closer one last time and whispered to her. "And don't lose the braids, McNally."


	6. Chapter 6

Andy felt like jumping up and down in joy. Since that was hard to do in a public phone booth, she settled for actively fidgeting with her braids (she was really starting to like these, too bad working on the streets meant you had to keep your hair up and out of your face) while she summarised the whole conversation with Jinx to her handler, Wesley.

She had finally approached her. After days of probing and hasty departures, while Andy/Leila was sitting around about to die out of boredom, she had taken a moment with her alone and invited her to come work for them.

Finally! It was scary, especially with all the complications Sam had brought to the surface, but it was progress, and something to do.

"I kept to the script, don't worry. I said I'm not into hooking or something like that, and she laughed at me. Wouldn't tell me anything besides the fabricated story she gave Carly too."

She heard the rustle of papers on the other side of the line. "Did she give you any indication as to the location they're taking you?"

_Taking you. _Damn, that sounded weird. It was getting real now, the days leading up to this were just practice. Now she had to shine and perform on Oscar-winning level, or she could be in serious, life-threatening trouble.

"None. Do you have any idea how to narrow it down?" They could hardly stake out every location that was connected with these people, could they?

"My guess is, they're going to take you to one of the warehouses. But don't worry. We'll have a car follow you from pickup, and one on each of the prime locations. You'll have someone around at all times."

We, did that include Donaldson? Could she trust him to have her back in a precarious situation? Sam's words kept echoing in her head, but she still found it hard to believe a fellow copper, who hadn't even met her before this undercover operation, would want to harm her in any way.

"Am I going to be wired?" Andy didn't know which prospect scared her more; walking into a lion's den fitted with a discoverable bug, or her walking in there alone without any outside knowledge of what was happening inside; no one to keep her safe if things went south.

"No, they'd find it, too risky." Just like that, door number two was chosen for her.

"Okay." Andy tried to keep the fear and apprehension out of her voice. Her earlier ecstatic mood seemed to have cooled consideraly.

"Listen, don't worry. This is just going to be an introduction. They're not going to tell you all their secrets right away, so just try to get comftorable with these people. A little tension is no big deal, to be nervous is expected and in character. Just remember what we talked about."

Yeah, she remembered those hours they spent drilling her and practising conversations, but it had all been theoretical at that point. Now it was real.

"Call back as soon as you can after tommorow's meeting. Good luck."

Good luck? That was it? Andy agreed to call back after the meeting and hung up the phone.

Now what? She had a whole night and day ahead of her of nothing to do but worry about tommorrow, and she didn't feel like going back straight away.

Plus, she had promised to call Sam. Should she risk it? If caught, both their careers were over and done with. But if Sam was right and something was going on, she needed all the help she could get.

And Sam had always been the best in calming her down, reassuring her of her capabilities and boosting her self-esteem. She kinda needed that right now. She needed him. Since they had really 'started' as a couple they had been together all the time, and she found she really missed him now.

The initial euphorhia of finally moving forward with the case had made place for fear. Could she really do this? No more sitting around making conversation, but real undercover work.

Andy left the booth and hurried along the streets. She couldn't call Sam from the same phone booth as her handler, could she? If they found out, everything would go to hell. After her suspension, she had promised the tribunal that she could seperate personal from professional. But could she be held responsible if those worlds continued to clash?

Andy hurried trough a couple of blocks with suspicious occupants before reaching the other phone booth she had picked out earlier.

She closed the door behind her and sighed deep before dialing the number she knew by heart. This was so wrong.

"Yeah?"

Her heart jumped upon hearing his voice, which made her feel like a teenager. Why did he have this effect on her?

"Hi. It's me." She had earned the right to be his 'me', hadn't she?

"Hi. How are you?"

Did he really want to know? How could she explain the choking feeling that increased its hold on her as time progressed? Damn it, she felt like breaking down at the sound of his voice.

"Did I wake you?" She suddenly realised she had no idea if Sam had been working the day shift today, or not. Maybe he had been at the Penny tonight, and he had totally forgotten about his rookie girlfriend.

Sam chuckled. "No, you did not. Are you okay?"

Andy was still contemplating about how much she should tell him. Why did she call again?

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"What's wrong?"

He could still read her like a book, even over the phone.

"Nothing, it's just... I'm going in for real tomorrow. I'm meeting some players. Thought you might want to know."

* * *

So, she had called him. That was good. But it didn't really ease his mind, knowing that she was going to be in for real tomorrow, alone, and he couldn't do anthing about it. He didn't even know where she was going to be, or what she was going to do exactly.

She was meeting some people. Based on the neighbourhood and what he had learned so far, he had a few guesses on who the players were, none of them too appealing.

He had voiced none of his concerns to Andy, because she sounded scared enough as it was. He had done his best to reassure her, to build up her confidence.

Could she do this? Sam genuinly thought of her as a good cop, with great instincts that he could trust. But she was still so young, so inexperienced in undercover work. Well, she was doing this, so she just had to be ready to pull it off, and he just had to have faith. Nothing he could do tonight.

This was only the initial meet, nothing was going to go wrong, he had to believe that.

But then there was the issue of Boyd and his companions, and the possible conspiracy that he was trying to unravel.

At least he had work today to keep him busy. The whole team had worked together to get a child molestor of the street before he could take advantage of the six-year old he had taken that morning.

The boy was back home safe and sound, and the perp was locked up for a long long time to come.

All in all, a very fulfilling day, had it not been for that nagging feeling in the back of his head.

He had just declined Jerry's invitation for a drink (which dumbfounded everyone around, because the chance of that ever happening again were very slim), because he wanted to stay clear-headed and sober in case she called him tonight. Jeez, had being with her reduced him to a sappy guy waiting all night by the phone?

Suddenly Frank appeared in the hallway, and gestured for Sam to come to his office. He had no choice but to oblige, but Sam could imagine what this talk would be about, and he would have rather ran the other way.

"Sammy, good work today." Frank gestured to the chair in front of him, but Sam kept standing close to the door.

"Thanks boss. It was a team effort." Not that he hadn't enjoyed being the one that could drag the bastard out of the apartment and into his cruiser, but he had to admit that the rookies were on top of their game today.

"But that's not why I called you in here."

Well yeah, Sam figured as much. Congratiolations were given on the floor, the office was usually for something else intirely; being called into the principal's office was still not a good thing.

Frank spread his arms on his desk and looked at him intently. "What do you want with Donaldson?"

"Why, what have you heard?" Sam scratched his head to have an excuse to break eye contact.

"I heard you were checking up on him, and you went by HQ, to his office. So, what's this about?"

Sam could not just tell him everything, not without proof. This was not his friend Frank, but his boss, staff-sergeant Best. If he told him about his suspicions, Frank would have to do something about it, and it might not pan out right for him or Andy.

"I wanted to ask him about Boyd's dissapearance. I heard they were pretty close." That was genuinly going to be one of the issues he had wanted to raise with him, just not the main one.

"So this has nothing to do with the case McNally is currently on?"

Sam flashed his widest grin. "Is he on the same case?"

Frank slumped back into his chair and slowly shook his head. "You're treading on thin ice, Sam. Be careful, you're not the only one who's affected by your actions here."

* * *

The picture was recieved with a giggle. "This is her? She looks harmless."

After five minutes in this damn inclosed booth, in what must be the smelliest bar in the city, his level of annoyance had reached a new high.

"Trust me, she's not."

He decided against catching some kind of infection and left his smudgy overfilled glass untoutched.

"Tell me, why don't I just rid of her first chance I get?"

_They had been over this. _"Because that's not the plan." He took the picture back, and stuffed it in his bag. No reason to have to deal with a noisy waitress, who remembers a certain picture of a woman in uniform, and the man handling it.

"So now I just wait? Do nothing?"

Maybe there was more than one brain-cell present in the thick skull opposite from him, after all.

"Exactly. I'll handle the rest. Nothing will come through. I'll tell you when to act."

Could he leave yet? He felt like he was going to be sick if he stayed here another minute.

"After this, we're in the clear, right? Over and done with?"

He grabbed his bag and slid to the exit of the booth. "After this, I don't remember anything about you or your little friends, and you can do whatever the hell you want."


	7. Chapter 7

_Again, I know it's been way too long since my last update. I got really stuck on the story, so I started a new post-finale story (which I may or may not post after I finished this one, not sure if it has potential yet), until the ideas for this one came flowing again._

_Thank you for bearing with me!_

* * *

These people had seen too many spy movies. They had transported Andy in the back of a van with blinded windows, and brought her to a warehouse.

Luckily, it was one of the locations she had studied in preparation for this op, and she knew exactly where she was. Hopefully Wesley and the rest of the group (she wasn't too sure about Donaldson, did she want him there?) knew too, and were right outside. But she had no way of knowing that for sure.

Somehow, the knowledge that Sam knew (more or less) what she was doing tonight, reassured her. It was stupid, but it kinda felt like she had his support tonight, like he was here with her.

If she pulled this off tonight, they gained an in to the organisation and that meant she could start gathering information so she could get home to Sam sooner.

Home. She loved her place, even more when Sam started to stay over almost every night. How long would it take for Sam and her to move in together? Somehow she really wanted that, it would be so great to wake up next to him every day, but she had moved in with Luke way too soon and she wasn't sure yet if it would be a good idea. Look where it brought her with Luke; she had experienced that breaking up was way more difficult when you lived together.

"Hey Leila, you asleep?" Jinx stood in the doorstep with a young dark-haired girl who looked like she just came of a photo-shoot. Not a strain of her hair was out of place, and her nails seemed perfectly manicured.

She had to pay more attention. This operation was going nowhere if she kept her mind occupied with Sam all the time.

"Sorry, I dreamed away a little."

Jinx shot her a little smile. "Let me guess; a guy?"

Was there an appropiate response to this? Anyway, it was always better to keep close to the truth when possible, or say nothing at all.

Andy just chuckled and shrugged her shoulders.

"Boyfriend?"

"Ex."

Leila did not have a boyfriend; that was not in the character guidelines.

"Boys are nothing but trouble, don't you know that? Anyway, I wanted you to meet Raven. She's going to take you out tommorrow, show you the ropes."

Oh, so this fragile little girl was like her new training officer? Funny. Andy wondered what Sam would have to say about that.

* * *

She was safe, she was safe for now. Sam hated not knowing what was about to happen. When would the bom burst? He just had to hope that when it did, Andy would be nowhere near the blast, or he would never forgive himself. Why couldn't he just have said no when Andy had asked him if she should go ahead with the undercover operation? They would have avoided this whole mess.

After hours pacing around in his empty apartment with no diversion to be found, she had called him, saying she was alright. They had introduced her to a few members, she would start 'work' today.

Sam was no closer to the truth about Boyd or his connection with Donaldson. All his contacts had called back with nothing he didn't already know. This was getting more than frustrating.

But hey, he had a whole day of cruising the streets to look forward to, alone with his thoughts.

He had just retrieved his gun from the locker and was about to go out, when he saw a familiar face at reception.

Donaldson was staring right at him trough the glass, so Sam had no choice but to have him buzzed in and face him. He did not look happy.

"Swarek. Got a minute, in private?", he said brusquely.

Sam smiled at him. "Sure." He ushered him to an empty viewing room and closed the door behind them.

"Listen, if you have anything you'd like to know about me, ask me directly. I don't appreciate being investigated, especially by a fellow copper."

Right to the point, Sam could respect that. So his investigation hadn't been as careful as he might have thought.

"Do you know where Donovan Boyd is?"

Donaldson looked genuinly shocked. "Boyd? That is what this is all about?"

"Well, do you? He's gone missing."

"I haven't seen or spoken to Boyd in months. Not since shortly after you threw him under a bus."

"I didn't throw him under anything, he buried himself with his actions."

Sam was getting sick and tired of defending his actions. Boyd had screwed up his own career.

"But you made damn sure he would never crawl out, you and that girl."

Okay, now he was getting pissed. That girl?

"If you dislike _officer McNally_ that much, why did you handpick her for your op?"

Sam had chosen the wrong room, the other side of the glass, the interrogation room, would have been more appropiate; the look right now on Donaldson's face assured him something was going on. He would love to be able to drill him for real, until he got some answers.

"Unlike you, I can seperate personal feelings from my professional opinion, ever thought of that?"

Thought of it, and dismissed it. If that were true, he had refrained from voicing his opinion to all of his colleagues, and kept it at home.

"What's your motive for choosing her specifically then?"

"She was referred to me. By the way, I thought you'd be glad I gave her a chance to advance in her career, or are you one of those guys that want a docile housewife?"

Andy as a housewife? No way, they would strarve first and then get lost forever in the messes she would leave in the home. Plus, he liked working with her.

"Referred by whom?"

"None of your business."

Donaldson moved closer until they were face to face.

"The real question is, why do you know so much about the _classified_ op your girlfriend is on? Haven't you learned your lesson, to stay out of each others undercover lives?"

"If you've got something planned, forget it. I'm on to you, and I will find out."

Donaldson backed up a step. "Is that a threat?"

Sam looked him straight in the eye. "Yes, it is. Any funny business, and I'll be knocking on your door. So you better keep her safe out there."

He made a hasty retreat out of the viewing room. This was going to get him nowhere, and he had to process the conversation.

He hated to even think it, but he believed Donaldson had no idea where Boyd was; you couldn't fake surprise like that.

His resentment against him and Andy was definitely genuine though. But was he mad enough to really plan something, and whas he truthful about Andy being refered to him? If so, who came up with the idea, someone on his team? That agressive boy Wesley, perhaps?

This was getting to be to much to handle on his own, he needed help. He didn't even know what Andy was working on, exactly.

Sam knocked on the open door of the detectives' office, to get Jerry's attention.

"Hey buddy, got a sec?"

Jerry looked up at him. "Anything for my best man."

Jerry had asked him to be his best man a few days ago, and of course Sam had said yes. Now he was just hoping Jerry and Traci would reconsider and get married on this continent, so he wouldn't have to confess his dislike of flying to Andy.

Sam went straight to the laminated map on the opposite wall, and circled a point with a red marker.

"I need everything you know about gang activity in these few blocks, as soon as possible."

* * *

Even though Andy was early, Raven was already there. She was sitting on a bench, next to a purple stroller; definitely the last thing Andy had expected to see. The opening was covered by a thin flowery cloth; she couldn't see inside.

"You've got a baby?"

Raven gave her the slightest smile, without even looking at her. "Yeah, her name is Mary-Jane."

Andy sat down next to her. "So, what's the plan?" This situation was getting weirder by the minute. Weren't they supposed to be working, whatever that meant?

"Just wait." Raven was not a talker, that was for sure.

Wait, for what? And why was a baby involved? She wanted to ask, but decided against it. Don't ask too many questions, that was the credo of criminals, right?

Andy joined Raven in staring ahead, getting more inpatient by the minute. This was almost as boring as a stakeout.

After a while Raven focused on a car, which had already passed them three times now, before it parked across the street. She grabbed a bundle wrapped in a diaper from the stroller, which Andy realised now was most definetly not carrying a baby.

"Bring this to the car, and exchange it for their package. Swift and silent."

She handed Andy the package, who had no choice but to do as she was told. She brought the package to the vehicle (three passengers, white males in their thirties), and exchanged it for a smaller package, which she brought back to Raven to put back in the stroller.

After the car had left, she whispered to Raven. "What was in the package?" She had an idea, but she needed to hear or see it, for it to stand up in court.

Raven showed no emotion as she seemed to look right through her. "Candy." She started to gently rock the stroller back and forth, as if there was a real baby in there.

They stayed silent, until another car stopped in front of them, and Andy repeated the cycle (one male one female in their early twenties, college sticker on the car).

"So, this is it? This is all I have to do?"

"For today, this is it. Just don't screw up or get caught, and you'll be moving on to better things soon", Raven answered as she started to softly hum a lullaby.


	8. Chapter 8

_It might be a while between each chapter, but I'm not leaving this story! I'm still intent on finishing it, just letting you know, in case anyone was wondering._

_BTW, I know I suck at making up names for places and people and such, I hope you readers won't hold that against me, and it doesn't distract from the story too much._

_Just so you guys know: reviews make me write faster! ;-)_

* * *

"How's Raven treating you?" Jinx handed Andy a slice of the apple she was slicing with her pocket knife.

Working with Raven, how to sum it up? Raven was not a talkative girl in the least. The few words she had exchanged with her the past few days had not shed any light to the organization, and had left Andy none the wiser.

She had learned much more from the evenings spent in the warehouse, surrounded by the other girls, who were much easier to read and a little more loose-lipped.

"It's fine."

The hardest thing was the wait. She knew she was gaining their trust; they had allowed her to meet more and more members of the group, and since two days ago she was invited to 'hang' with them during the day as well.

It was getting clear though that the initial two-week deadline of her undercover op would not be met, and Andy wasn't too sure how she felt about that.

She had talked it over with her handler Wesley on the phone yesterday. No pressure, but it would be great if she would dig a little deeper, he had said. According to him, they were close to mapping the whole organization.

Andy wanted nothing more than to complete this op with success; this would do wonders for her career and boost her reputation in the force. Her father's legacy and her suspension earlier this year weren't exactly selling points.

But she was starting to feel like she was playing three roles now: She was Leila, youthful delinquent, she was Andy; the perfect daughter, hardworking police officer who played by the book, and she was Sam's McNally, who followed each report with a private, unsanctioned second phone call to Sam.

She was now lying so much, it was getting hard to keep track of all the lies. And this all got her paranoid as hell, to the point where she hardly dared to close her eyes at night.

"Do you think you're ready to handle a little bit more responsibility?"

_Oh yes, finally._

"Sure. Like what?"

Jinx took her time cutting another peace of her apple. "Just a little delivery job, tonight. You'll be tagging along with some of the girls. Keep you mouth shut and follow instructions. You think you can handle it?"

* * *

"I wish they'd sent me on this one." Jerry dropped a folder in front of him with a big grin on his face.

Sam inquisitively raised an eyebrow.

"If I'm right, they sent McNally to a new group called 'The Frays', a side branch of 'The Strays', a group of pain-in the asses punks we've been trying to get rid of for years. And get this; it's girls only."

Jerry's smile got wider, until his eye fell on his fiancée who was sternly sipping from her coffee, and his smile disappeared in a flash.

Jerry had convinced Sam to include Traci in their little off-the book research, if only to have someone (other than himself) to look trough all the files.

"Supposedly, they are like foot soldiers for the boys now, and growing fast. They recruit young girls from shelters and youth programs. Runaways, homeless girls; with no one to miss them."

Sam flipped trough the pages in front of him, only to find out the information they had on them was not much besides what Jerry had just told him.

Traci shifted uneasy in her chair. "They use the young girls as runners?"

"They raise less suspicion, and they can hide drugs in fake pregnant bellies and such."

To Sam's delight, Jerry stopped pacing back and forth and took an empty chair across him, and examined another file.

"What kind of threat do they pose exactly? Are we talking about burglaries and weed, or guns and smack?"

Jerry flipped the page, got wide-eyed and flipped it back quickly. He purposely fixed his eyes on the paper in front of him. "Until now, the only thing they're really credited for is pick-pocketing, shoplifting and all kinds of drug-trafficking and sales..."

Sam spotted the probing look Traci shot Jerry. She was really detective material, good at picking out the nuances; Andy had been right about that.

"But what?"

Jerry grunted softly, still avoiding looking directly at Sam.

"The Strays, and therefore the Frays, have been growing fast, encroaching on turf of some of the more hard-core guys. It's been noticed, and there have been retaliations."

_What was it that Andy had been told again? Low risk? Bullshit._

"How bad is it?"

Jerry's eyes shot over the page. "It's really all speculation at this point; we don't have too much info on them yet. And I'm sure they're keeping McNally out of all the big stuff, with her being new and all. But there were a couple reported gun-shot victims that match their criteria. And... There've been four dead girls."

* * *

The air was damp and crisp; an aerie fog filled the air outside and completed the surreal mood Andy found herself in. What was she even getting ready for? No one had bothered to tell her _anything_. She had been given no time to get to a pay phone to call Wesley, so all she could do was send him a text while hiding in the toilet (which had no door lock and a putrid smell that got into your pores, Andy could so not wait to enjoy her own bathroom again), and hope they managed to get some backup for her tonight. They should be able to track the cell phone Andy was hiding in her sock.

Luckily, she wasn't the only one who was a little anxious tonight; Raven was actually showing signs of life and instead of practicing at being a statue, she had developed a nervous twitch in her leg.

Wesley had not given her any info on Raven yet, he was still searching records to identify her. Andy had the feeling there was more to her; maybe she could be a rich source of information, if only she could get her to warm up to her a little bit.

"Anything I should know about tonight before we go?"

"I think Jinx pretty much covered everything." Apparently, Raven was part of the inner circle; she and Jinx seemed pretty tight, and Raven always seemed to know everything that was going on.

"I just don't want to screw up or anything." That was true, just not in the way Raven thought. Sometimes while playing Leila she felt like being a rookie all over again; no clue what she was doing, and faking it while avoiding making huge mistakes.

"Just keep your head down, and keep your mouth shut. No problem."

Suddenly Carly was standing next to her. "Good advice. It's all lies if you don't, anyway."

What the hell was she doing here? Shit, she had totally forgotten about Carly, she was so wrapped up in her work here that she hadn't even thought about her the past couple of days.

Raven quickly left the scene, with a hint of a smile on her lips.

"So was this your plan? Keeping me from this place, so you could have it for yourself? Pretending to be my friend and stabbing me in the back?"

Andy mind started racing. How was she going to explain this? There was no way to rationalize keeping her away and then joining, not without blowing her cover.

"Carly, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that; I just didn't want to see you get hurt."

Carly stared at her with disgust. "You think I can't take care of myself? What do you think I've been doing since I was twelve years old?"

Andy grabbed her hand, but Carly pulled it away with a swift move.

"Trust me; this is not the place for you. You don't need this to get to LA."

She tried to show her how serious she was about this statement, but Carly was just too mad to get it.

"And it's okay for you? You know what, don't bother knowing me anymore. You're truly a bitch, Leila."

Out of nowhere, Raven's milky-white delicate hand grabbed Carly's shoulder and turned her around. Had she been listening in on their whole conversation?

"Now, now, language. We're all sisters here, sort of. You'd be smart to remember that, if you want to last here. But if you excuse Leila and me, we have urgent business to attend to."

* * *

"Thanks guys, for staying late to figure this out."

Sam massaged his temples. They had been at this for hours; rummaging through files and looking at maps, but he wanted to be on top of this. Thank god he had good friends and colleagues like this, although the appreciation would like reflect itself in his bar bill at the end of the month; he would owe a lot of people a few drinks by then.

But wasn't it worth it? He did not spend two years chasing a girl with a lion's heart, only to let her be trampled by outside influences when he finally managed to win a place in it.

"Aw, save it for the wedding speech man. But it better be a good one."

Sam let his gaze wonder again; maybe it was time to call it a night, there wasn't much more they could dig up anyway.

Somehow, the buzz on the floor overlooking their glass office seemed more busy than usual.

"What's that about?"

Jerry followed his gaze and slid back his chair, seemingly happy for a distraction. "I'll find out."

The look on Jerry's face as he came back a few minutes later, said enough. This was bad. Did he even want to know?

Luckily, Traci beat him to it. "What's wrong?"

" Division is seeking backup for a police involved shooting off' Finch Ave.; apparently, they disturbed a drug-deal, involving a group of young girls."

The street name was all too familiar; it was sprawled all over the pages before them. It was also dangerously near the last place he had seen her in the flesh. It wasn't a giant leap to assume Andy's new group of friends were involved, was it?

The question remained, was she? When they had spoken last night, she had given him no indication of anything exciting coming up. But it being undercover work, his own area of expertise, he knew things could change quickly.

Again, Traci beat him to the punch. "Any injuries? Or… Casualties?"

"There's a rookie in the hospital for a shot in the leg, but it doesn't sound serious. The girls got away, no trace as of yet. The officers said there was at least one girl hit, and there was a substantial amount of blood found at the scene."


	9. Chapter 9

Blood. Why was there so much blood? Andy felt like she was soaked in it. It had all gone so terribly wrong. Her memory was like a haze, it felt too much like watching a movie.

They had driven in total silence to the pick-up point, where Raven and another girl (she called herself 'Buffy') had gotten out with the bags with god-knows what in them. Andy and a few others were told to keep watch on the outskirts of the compound. Andy was assigned a place where she could barely see what was going on. But hey, who would put the new girl close where she could actually see something interesting?

When the other party had arrived, and the hand-off was just about to begin, a new car was approaching in the distance and everybody was running and shouting at once.

She couldn't understand what was said, but by the authoritative tone of their voices she understood that the newcomers were most likely cops.

Shots were fired (was it them? Or the cops? And which side was she supposed to be on?), and Andy sought cover behind a parked car. More shots, shouting. She tried to calculate the location of the shooters, but they were already moving away from her position. Then, an agonizing scream. Who was that?

In the dark, she could make out a figure on the ground, barely moving, and people running in the background.

Despite her heart, which was nearly beating out of her chest, Andy crawled her way over to the moaning figure. Raven? She was shaking like a leaf, and the gaping wound in her chest seemed to have accumulated a large pool of blood.

Andy put pressure on the wound while trying to get Raven's attention, sorely missing her trusty police radio being handy on her belt to call for help.

Two more shots were fired (were they getting closer again?), but it was hard to see anything in the dark.

Then Buffy was there, along with some of the other girls. Ignoring Andy's plea to not move her, they somehow managed to drag the now unconscious Raven to the van, and get all of the girls in before the men now chasing them reached them.

In the back of the van, which was fleeing the scene with high speed, Andy had been left to attend Raven's wounds since nobody else had any knowledge at all about first aid, and some girls preferred to cry hysterically instead of helping. She had been shot at least twice, and was gushing blood. All Andy could do was to try to slow down the bleeding with anything she could find or peaces of clothing she confiscated. She could care less about explaining how she knew how to do this; she was not going to let Raven die, just to keep her cover.

A few blocks down the van had stopped in a parking lot, and Andy and the others were ordered to help put Raven in the backseat of the car, which sped away quickly. Where were they taking her? No one was telling her anything.

They drove back in silence yet again, save for a few whimpers of one of the girls. Everybody appeared to be in shock, Andy included. They weren't brought back to the warehouse though, but to an apartment Andy hadn't been to before, where they were told to wait.

What the hell happened out there? Was there anything she could have done different? Maybe she should have paid more attention, been more aware of what had transpired, and who was involved.

What would she report about this, how to explain? If they ever left her alone that was, until now she had even been escorted to the bathroom to wash the blood off, so she had had no time to send anyone a message.

Then it hit her, like a slap in the face. Where were they, her backup-team? Shouldn't they have stopped the police from interfering in the deal, or at least tried to protect her from the flying bullets? Wasn't that what they were meant for, keep her safe?

* * *

The flashing lights bathed the area in an aerie shade of red and blue. Cops and techs were crawling around everywhere, buzzing like flies. Why did it always seem to take an officer -involved shooting to get everyone to care in this neighborhood?

Sam gave the copper on watch a nod and proceeded beyond the police tape. Good thing he had not changed out of uniform yet, so even though he had no official business being here, he fit right in. Maybe he should have taken up on Jerry's offer to come with, but that would only have given them more chance of being seen by the wrong people.

Hopefully he could get the information he wanted without any difficulties, so he could get out of here before he got himself in even more trouble than he already was.

After a discreet survey of the area, he found an officer with a rookie-look in his eyes standing alone, away from the group.

Sam walked up to him with an air of authority he normally reserved for 15's rookies alone.

"Do you have a description of the suspects?"

He had chosen wisely, the rookie almost jumped when he was talked to. He continued to frantically search trough his notebook, while stammering.

"Yes, uh, Sir. One of them had… I mean, there were at least four suspects, female…"

There was no time for this (this guy wouldn't get through the day at 15th, that he knew for sure). "Could I see that for a minute?" Sam grabbed the notepad out of his hands, scanning through the descriptions given by the officers on scene.

No mention of anyone matching Andy's height and weight, or someone with braids. But that didn't mean she wasn't there; just that she wasn't seen by her colleagues at the scene of the crime.

"Any useful camera images from the vicinity?" He handed back the notepad.

"I believe there were some from the entrance of the parking lot, Sir. But detective Donaldson took possession of the evidence already."

_Bad news_. "He's here?"

"Right there Sir." The rookie pointed to a spot behind Sam, right when Donaldson was looking straight at them. He might as well have worn a clown suit, there was no escaping now.

Sam reluctantly made the steps toward the detective, and gave him a slight nod.

"Swarek? I wasn't aware you had transferred to 23rd Division."

Donaldson fumbled at the collar of his oversized raincoat while barely making eye-contact. Sam took a few steps away from the commotion still going on around them; Donaldson followed him around the corner.

"Was she here?"

"Who are you referring to exactly?"

"Cut the crap, you know exactly who I mean. Was she hurt?"

Donaldson backed away from him in advance. "I don't think you're privileged to that information, are you?"

Something snapped in Sam. Maybe he could have controlled it, if he had wanted to. But he was about done with sitting around and guessing, it was about time for all of this to be done with. Plus, it felt good to finally _act_.

He grabbed Donaldson by that stupid collar he kept fumbling with, thrust him against the nearest wall with full force, and held him there.

"Listen, I don't know what kind of idiot plan you and whoever else have cooked up, but I'm telling you; it's done. These are peoples' life's you're dealing with."

The terror in Donaldson's eyes was somehow inexplicably satisfying.

"I could have your job for this."

"I could have your head for this. Start talking." He grasped him even tighter.

After a few moments of Sam not moving an inch and not even blinking, he saw the change in attitude from Donaldson; he knew the game was over.

"Ok, ok, it doesn't matter much now anyway. She was here; we have her on the surveillance tape. But she hasn't checked in with us yet,"

"Was she hurt?"

"We don't know for sure, but it doesn't seem like it. The surveillance tape shows her running after the shots were fired."

Sam released his grip a little, but not entirely yet.

"There was never any intention of bodily harm. It's neither your or her life we're after."

"Then what are you after?"

"Same thing you took from Boyd; his reputation, his career. He was damned good at it by the way, in case you've forgotten somehow."

Sam released him, but stayed dangerously close.

Yes, Boyd had been very good at his job, but he screwed it up himself.

"Nevertheless, he was a crook who covered up a murder for personal gain. Tell me, what was your brilliant plan to repay us for doing our job and telling the truth?"

"We know she's still in contact with you, for a while now. We've been gathering more than enough evidence to hand over to the higher-ups; I don't think your careers will survive another code-of conduct mishap, after getting off so light the last time."

Sam scoffed at the not so hidden remark.

"That's it? You chose her for a dangerous undercover operation, just to prove she would stay in contact with me? You really don't have a life of your own, do you?"

Donaldson put his hands up in defense.

"Hey, it wasn't my idea to do any of this, I just played along. We really did need a young female for this op, and since she was qualified enough, I figured why not kill two birds with one stone?"

"Then whose idea was it? Boyd?" The night was young enough to pay an old friend a visit after this was done.

"I told you, I haven't talked to Boyd in ages. I told you everything, it's over. I'm sure your girlfriend is fine. I'm not like you; I don't hang my friends out to dry. Are we done?"

"One more thing." Andy was probably going to kill him for this, but he felt like he had no choice.

"When she calls in, you tell her it's over, and you pull her out. This undercover operation is done. I don't care how you do it, but after today, she's coming home."

* * *

He fought the urge to throw the phone across the room. _Idiot. _Telling Swarek everything, after all the work he'd done to even convince the moron to play along? And now he knew it all, at least the part that he had led Donaldson in on.

But no worries, the plan was still solid. He had instructed her to hold McNally close, so she'd have no chance to contact anyone, or be contacted. For now.

All he needed to do now was accelerate his plans and stay calm. There were still a lot of things going for him; they hadn't found Boyd as of yet, and they had no idea who was really pulling the strings. His grand finale would be as he had imagined it. Soon.


	10. Chapter 10

_I really want to apologize for waiting so terribly long to write another chapter! Especially to my faithfull reviewer Linda P, who I promised long ago to return to the story. Sorry!_

_I guess I needed a new Rookie Blue-fix first._

_Anyway, I hope it's worth the wait._

* * *

What now? He had no insurance at all that Donaldson would do as told, and pull Andy out.

This had gone on long enough; Sam was sick of Andy and him being pawns in someone's sick little game. Their jobs were dangerous enough without not being able to trust your own colleagues.

She was going to call. Soon. She had to. She was proven by the camera to be unharmed when she left the scene. She and the other girls were probably in hiding until things calmed down, and she had had no chance to call yet. No reason to think otherwise, right?

Logically, yes. Then why did his mind keep turning in overdrive, playing every scenario of things that could have gone wrong?

Andy had always been the positive one of their twosome. He was a glass half-empty type, to avoid disappointment he always thought the worst possible.

He was pretty alright with that most of the time, but right now he secretly wished for some of her positive strength.

The silent prayer Sam was sending for Andy's speedy return was disrupted by the buzz of his doorbell.

If there really was some kind of higher power, he or she sure worked fast! Sam speeded to the door.

"Don't tell me you forgot." Oliver studied Sam's surprised face. "Poker? Tonight? It was your idea, remember?"

Oliver gave Sam no chance to refuse before stepping past him into the hall.

"The grownups were either working or on house arrest with their wife, so I brought the rookies." Oliver motioned for the others to come in.

Diaz smiled sheepishly at Sam before coming in too, followed by Epstein. "We brought beer."

_It's a distraction alright, _Sam thought, just not really the one he had wished for.

"What's up with you tonight?"As soon as he saw the flop, Sam threw down his cards.

"Is there someone special on your mind?", Oliver said teasingly.

Sam grunted back in response.

Epstein had a sudden deep interest in the label of his beer bottle. Did he tell Diaz about his sudden encounter with Andy?

Diaz eagerly called Oliver's raise. "How is Andy doing? Have you heard from her?"

He seemed totally oblivious, so Epstein had probably kept his mouth shut.

Oliver revealed his three-of a kind with kings with a wide grin, after which he made a showing of grasping the whole pot in one full swoop, enjoying Diaz' defeat.

"Andy is… Great."

He took the cards and started shuffling them for a next hand.

"Is she coming back soon?"

Sam took his time dealing the cards again. He took a deep sigh. "I hope so."

"So, have you heard from her?"

_Not tonight. _"She's undercover. No contact allowed."

Sam filled the bowl with some cheesy snack Diaz and Epstein had brought over. Why did he even consent to this? He had to act like his regular self all evening, while his money and patience were running out. Why hadn't he heard anything from Andy yet? Maybe he should be out there, cruising the streets.

"That hasn't stopped you two before."

A burst of laughter came from the living room. At least the rookies were having fun; no sense of the evening being spoiled for everyone.

"Are you worried she can't handle it?"

"I know she can hold her own. It's the people who are supposed to have her back, I have a problem with."

"You worry too much. I get it, but I fear she's not going to take it the right way if you meddle in her affairs."

* * *

She had been off the wire for about a day now. Weren't they supposed to come looking for her? And what would Sam do if she didn't check in soon?

Anyway, Andy was amazed to still be alive. Her situation had seemed precarious a little while ago.

After waiting for hours in the apartment with the other girls, they were visited by another group of women. A tall dark-haired voluptuous woman who breathed an aura of authority took charge; Andy heard her referred to as 'Heat'. Why had she never heard about her? Was she the big boss of this organisation?

Her face was emotionless as she apologized for the wait. There had been some things she had to sort out first, she said.

Trish, a plump young girl with purple streaks in her hair, dared to ask her how Raven was doing.

"She died", she had answered plainly. Then she stunned the girls with another announcement;

There was a trader in their midst.

This time, she had let the news sink in on the group. Andy immediately broke out in cold sweat, especially when Heat let her eyes rest on her face just a little too long. Was she figured out? Would this be it then? It took all her strength to keep calm while she anticipated her life flashing for her eyes any second now. Not that it would take a long time, as Sam teased her regularly; her life until she joined the police force was pretty boring. Would she have a chance to add to her life experiences before it all ended?

After a few agonizing moments later (Seconds? Minutes? She had no idea.) Heat ordered for the girls to be brought back to the warehouse. Buffy was told to stay, so they could have 'a chat'.

Andy would never forget the desperate look on Buffy's face then. She just shook her head again and again, saying "It's not me. Not me."

None of the girls spoke as they left the apartment. Andy was still feeling stunned. What could she do? She still couldn't believe they were letting her go. But what were they going to do to Buffy? How was she supposed to help her? She couldn't just leave them like that.

"What are you going to do?" The question was out before she knew what she was doing.

This got Heat's attention. "You're new, aren't you? What's your name?" She walked up to Andy, so they were face-to face. Buffy was sobbing in the corner, flanked by two of the women Heat had come in with.

"I'm Leila." Heat's eyes seemed to pierce her. What did she see there? Could she tell that she was lying?

"Well Leila, there's something you need to know about our little group: We are like a family. Sisters. And I guess you could say I'm the mom." She let out a short giggle before all emotion evaporated from her again.

"Raven was one of us. Now she's dead. Do you get that?"

"I do, it's terrible. But are you sure that Buffy is…" She wasn't allowed to finish her sentence.

"Now, how do you think I deal with people who mess with my family?"

Was that threat directed at her or at Buffy? There were the piercing eyes again; it felt like they were going right through her.

Then she broke the spell, beckoned at another woman in the room and whispered something in her ear. The next thing Andy knew, she was brought out of the apartment with force and put into a car, Buffy sobs still echoing loudly in her head.

They brought her back to the warehouse, and told her in no uncertain terms it would be best for her to stay here tonight. They gave her a stretcher to sleep in (Sleep? What was that again? It seemed so long ago.), and a woman on guard in the corner of the room, who tried really hard to make it seem like she wasn't watching her.

She was just about to excuse herself to go to the bathroom and try to communicate with Wesley (and Sam), when Carly burst in, looking frantic. For a moment Andy didn't know if Carly would slap her, but then she threw her arms around her and gave her a tight hug.

"You okay? I heard someone died."

"I'm fine. Raven's dead." _And Buffy now, too?_

Carly still held on tight. The embrace was oddly comforting; maybe it was just what she had needed right now.

"I was worried." She sounded more like a little girl than ever before.

"I thought you hated me." Andy pried herself loose from Carly's grip.

"I did. Not anymore. I guess we really are sisters now. Sisters fight, but they look after each other, right?"

There was that word again. _Sisters._ Sisters who lie and to betray each other, even kill each other? How the hell was she supposed to figure out how to be a good 'sister' to Carly, and protect her from the world around her?

She was, after all, an only child. And she already had a family back home, at 15th division.

Why did nobody ever warn her how complicated undercover life could be?

* * *

_There've been some complications. I'm fine. Call you as soon as I can._

Sam read the text message three times. What kind of complications? Did she mean the shootout at the parking lot, or something more? And why couldn't she call?

Once again, Andy managed to frustrate him to no end. Did she really think this was enough information?

He had just decided, now that the guys had finally left, to drive trough the neighborhood he had previously found her, go by the woman's shelter she had initially been placed in, known hot spots for criminals, anything to find her. And now this. Was this supposed to reassure him?

She didn't mention being pulled out. But if she reached him, surely she could reach her handler too. Had Donaldson kept his word?

_I'm fine. _Knowing Andy, that could mean a lot of things.

God, going undercover himself was a lot less nerve-racking than dealing with her being undercover.

Tomorrow. He could afford to give her a few more hours to wrap everything up. She deserved it, and he had to show her he trusted her. After that, he would pull her out of there personally if needed be.

* * *

"You don't understand. They're on to us." Donaldson slobbered his drink, already drunk. He watched as the drops slowly reached the hardwood table and formed a little puddle there. Why oh why did he ever choose this moron to work with? He should have known better.

"They're on to you. And only because you couldn't keep your mouth shut."

Donaldson cringed at the comment. "We have to stop this."

"The plan is still in play. Nothing has changed." Everything could still be done as he had planned it, with a little luck. It was a setback, but not a disaster.

"Everything has changed. Swarek is going to come back to me if I don't pull her out. Have you thought of that?"

Slowly, he made his way to the desk. "Sure I did. _Your_ situation has definitely changed. I'm just saying mine hasn't."

He touched the cold metal with his fingers; he still loved the feeling, after all these years.

"So what do we do?"

He picked it up and grasped it tightly, his back still turned to Donaldson. "We?"

"You're the one who got me into this, remember?"

He felt the trusted weight in his hand as he clicked the safety off and loaded the chamber.

"And I'm the one who is going to get you out, I promise."


End file.
